Planning for the future. Oh noes.

The new version with even more cuts has only 16,210 words compared to the old's 18,555.

A page with an overview of project files is here.

We started doing rehearsal schedules and I suck so Bansri helped me and now we have a calendar set up on 30boxes.com, which I love, to help us keep track. Right now it mostly has all the different conflicts we've heard about. Some of the times don't show up but if you told us what times you aren't available, it's on the website itself. I have to give access information in class, maybe. Notice there are no scheduled rehearsals yet. We're working on that.

Also, the deadline for costumes is the 18th and the props deadline will be way before that so we can start working with them. Also, we have no school on the 26th and we're going to have a full rehearsal that day.


I got critiques for my play from the Playwrights Theatre of New Jersey today! I entered the New Jersey Young Playwrights Contest again this year but I didn't win. Some of the winning plays sound really interesting and I kind of want to see them produced at the PTNJ Festival on May 20 but I don't think I'll be able to go. =O If I went, though, I would hope deep down in my heart for Paul Ries or whatever his name was. He was absolutely wonderful, as was pretty much all the actors in the festival.

For posterity I shall post what they said. After all, the only people who would get it would be people who saw Mock Trial's production of this (Murder at Vinnie's). Also, the version I submitted was modified with new additions for the time originally filled with food serving:

MURDER AT VINNIE'S

First Critique by JML

Strengths: This is cleverly put together! Writing comedy is more difficult for most playwrights than writing serious drama. You had all the main ingredients: chracters who are purposefully stereotyped, exaggerated dialogue, frivolous situation, no meaningful message. The joy is in the intricate plot that was woven together with no loose ends flapping around. Within their types, the characters a very consistent [sic]. Their needs and wants are crystal clear and those [sic] preventing them from getting what they want are most effective. The "accidental" poisoning does seem to work as a resolution.

Areas for Improvement: There are a great many characters for a short play and their relationships are more complicated than may be necessary. Perhaps the play could end with everyone looking terrified rather than the "choking and dying." This would leave your audience guessing rather than repulsed.

Other Feedback: You have a wonderful feel for comedy! This has a real "Sit-com" flow. Keep up the good writing.

Second Critique by Anonymous

The script is very funny and has a lot of character. The location and situation are very specifically drawn. The humor is both silly and smart. Your use of audience participation is quite clever. The mystery plot build [sic] well until the final surprise ending.

As you rewrite, look not just for places to add humor, but for ways to make each of the characters consistent. For example, Vinnie's speech on page 2 starts out sounding scripted--as if he rehearsed it at home for a long time. Then, suddenly, he slips up, starting to mention that the pizza parlor is also a drug-selling operation. Would he really make this kind of mistake, after putting so much effort into opening the parlor? If he is that carelss, then let his carelessness be seen throughout the play. Junior, on the other hand, is a character who is very funny because he is so consistent. His comedy comes from a dramatic situation.

A bunch of funny lines throughout. Keep up the good work!


I didn't win, but I was very pleased with the comments. I think Murder at Vinnie's is actually one of my favorite works, more as a production than as a script because it was tailor-made for the mock trial members and worked out so perfectly. I'm glad they thought it was funny without seeing people who fit the roles so perfectly act the role and read the part. I was afraid that perhaps the lines would only work as inside jokes but I guess the characters are stereotypical enough. Joy!

Reminds me. I have to post Mr. Edmonds's pictures some time. Ugh, I'm so lazy....

Also, extravaganza may not happen. =( How sad. I was starting to look forward to "What is This Feeling?" and "Quando Quando Quando?" or as I perfer to type, qqq.

And while I'm still on the waiting list for other schools, right now I'm going to attend Duke University. =D

First Draft!

Here is the first draft of the cut version of As You Like It since I told people I would put it here. =)

Dr. Solberg said we might have to switch some things around in our casting and we are also trying to cut the script down further. I did acts 1 and 2 today and asked Aaron to cut some more. I don't know how much he did yet, but when we're done, we'll put the second draft yet.

Dr. Solberg also said that she will be giving tests on the Tempest and As You Like It on Tuesday to make sure everyone has read both. Oh my. =O I have to review the Tempest tomorrow. Ugh.

I also have to write the dedication and something for lit mag. I tried to write both but I just didn't have inspiration. I'll try writing tomorrow morning but I uhm, might not have time. Ha-ha. =) It's someone's birthday! So yay! I have to greet them and I don't know how long that discussion will last.

Anyway, I'm trying to get ideas for stories but my imagination feels very dry. Oh well. And I have work tomorrow. Ahh. Anyhow, I shall sleep.

And in case you're wondering, yes I am in love with Zach Condon and Beirut. And while I'm at it, Miyavi, too. You know, if I had an mp3 rotation, it would be very lovely.

making the cut (script)

emily and krystle were working hard on the script but i wasn't sure if we'd have enough time to get everything done at the pace we're going so i went through the script and just started cutting like crazy. cutting twelfth night in a fit was good experience. =) i managed to get it down to eight pages front and back. yay conserving paper! =D

so the cut script is out! =D hopefully everyone gets it. ahhh. but that's okay, they can just ask me for a copy and they'll get one!

mark libatique and i may sing "quando, quando, quando" as done by michael buble and nelly furtado but i'm not sure if that's the best option. i guess i'm still looking for duet ideas. but i must admit, qqq is a very good one. "anything you can do" from annie, get your gun is also a good option but i don't know if i have the vocal chops to hold a note very long and alberto suggested ebony and ivory but as he said, perhaps i am not ready for its racial implications, haha. besides, mark and i are really more of a caramel and butterscotch. i said we make a weird-looking piano, but mark pointed out that we'd be quite delicious, and i guess that completely redeems us, doesn't it?

i have to clean my house tomorrow, perhaps get my annotated mona lisa book from mark, and go to central avenue. oh my. =O at least i started my english homework? (which is the only homework i have left, by the way! rejoice! and take that, thomas o'shaughnessy and paulette sheeran, i have easily conquered your homework!)

i need to sleep.

shakespeare festival

the shakespeare festival took place and was great fun!

everyone was so good, so good job everyone!

i performed come away death (again) but this time with mark libatique to help jillian, jose, mark, and rory out with their skit. i sang it a bit lower than joe trapanese's version and along with the way i sang it, it was a lot sadder or something because dr. solberg said it really set a mood and mr. mallm told me the next day that he was amazed because he had never heard me sing before and that i moved him. =) how nice. and i got a delo letter, which was really very nice. after the first rehearsal dr. s asked if i needed mark because i sounded fine on my own, but i insisted on having mark. =) i think it sounded nice and it was the first time we've ever performed a duet in public (we've done the national anthem for a few games but always with at least another person).

and of course, i also did my lady percy speech and i think it was okay. haha.

some of the really good parts? hmm. i did quite like the twelfth night scene, alexis's rendition of "patience" was amazing and really quite beautiful and moving, peter and timothy were excellent at "brush up your shakespeare," and nadia gave the best monologue she ever has--hamlet's flesh melting speech =) and a lot more. everyone was excellent in general. everyone understood their monologues and delivered them convincingly. in fact, in some cases, i had seen their monologues before or seen them act before this year and it was nice to see how everyone had improved, some in leaps and bounds. paula, gid, and yasmeen were also excellent accompanists and all the singers were awesome. emily petrick's voice was so beautiful that at rehearsal i told mark to see the beautiful moment with me and he stayed even though he had to go to the bathroom. haha.

as for our actual shakespeare class, we finally finished casting for as you like it! =O and krystle and emily really have to get that script done. = but anyway, i wanted to be celia at first, then i wanted to be audrey, but i didn't get either, so now i'm corin. =/ oh well. lol i'll find a way to make it work and make it funny. and it's nice that bansri and aaron actually have parts now. yay! but we might have to make new roles for everyone to have a part. we may present it as a tale being told by a grandfather and a nanny to a young girl.

btw, casting was so hard because matching talent to roles was almost impossible. =O in case anyone missed it, the parts are listed at the end of this entry.

i have faith that as you like it will turn out well. i don't really have an official role right now, but i'm guessing i'm the producer but i'm still doing a bit of director stuff which is fine with me.

lit mag stuff is due after break (not to mention newsletter...) so i'll put up a possible submission or two here even though no one reads this.

i guess it's just to get my thoughts out. =)


presenting the cast of as you like it:

Alexandra - Denis
Krystle - Rosalind 1 (1.1-3.3)
Maria - Forester (singing)/Props
Lisli - Lord 1
Bansri - Audrey
Alexandria - Jacques dB
Karla - Duke Sr.
Tyniesha - Lord
Jan - Charles
Amalia - Le Beau
Gina - Phebe
Michelle G. - Hymen
Aaron - Orlando 1 (1.1-3.3)
Summer - Corin/Page (singing)
Justin - Amiens (singing)
Mingo - Orlando 2 (3.4-end)
Michelle L. - Lord 2
Nicholson - Oliver 1 (1.1-3.3)
Alexis - Jaques
Karen - Touchstone
Emily - Celia 1 (1.1-3.3)
Hira - Rosalind 2 (3.4-end)
Emir - Duke Fred
Alberto - Oliver 2 (3.4-end)
David - Silvius
Heefa - Daughter/Costumes
Nayantara - Nanny
Paula - Grandfather
Jacqueline - Oliver M.
Elysse - Celia 2 (3.4-end)
Michelle - Adam (tent.)
Rosie - William (tent.)

good week. =D

dr. s had the two classes go up against each other and even though we hardly had practice time and we didn't have all our lines memorized (keep in mind that each person in my group had a pretty hefty number of lines to memorize while the other class, which gave pretty much everyone at least one line, only had a couple lines each to memorize on average) we still won. =O anyhow, i thought it was wrong to have us compete for a spot in the shakespeare festival anyway and also to have us compete a day before we expected to perform instead of after. but i hear she changed her mind and said both classes should go, and i wholeheartedly agree.

we ended up being the only school at the shakespeare scene festival at njcu and it was quite fun. we both performed and we had a few mess-ups, especially because of me =O i felt bad because i kept forgetting my own direction lol i don't remember if i wrote about this in my last entry, but i had to play the male lead in an emergency recasting. ahh! but it worked out well and hira and i were quite convincing. both classes also got to workshop a scene. Stratford High's scene was Richard III's wooing scene with Jose and Jillian which was so so excellent. R&G are Wed's scene was the wall scene with Karen cast last minute as the wall to take my place, Hira as Isabella wooing the man she thinks is her lover Ben, and Mingo who delivered an outstanding performance as Venti, Ben's grandfather who thinks he's collecting a debt.

i was most proud of the wall scene. when bessie told me my script was well-written, that was the scene i thoguht of first. =) i was quite inspired when i wrote it and it wasn't creepy at all, even though some of the class was worried that a young girl wooing her lover's grandfather by mistake would be too weird.

the judges then gave us silly awards. R&G are Wed won Oddest Matchmaking Scene (or Best, I don't remember) for the wall scene and our prize was a DVD of Branagh's Much Ado About Nothing. Stratford High won Shakespeare in Love for Best Party Animals. Ashlei and I won awards for acting and directing in our work--she got Hamlet and I got Pacino's Merchant of Venice and I was so angry. =( But Pacino's Merchant is actually good, but I wanted Hamlet. And then Mingo, whose character was fat and required creative use of a pillow, won Reduced Shakespeare's Complete Works of Shakespeare on DVD as a prize for Best Impression of a Mattress.

Everyone was so good! Some of my favorites from the whole day's trip--Abram (esp. for his work in the insults exercise and his promotion of David's Cookies), Nicholson, Alberto, David, Hira, Michelle, Mingo, pretty much my whole cast, Peter, Jose, and I guess Mark. (I admit, I'm biased).

I apologize for the inconsistency in capitalization, btw.

Also, thank you to Aaron for his breathtaking introduction of our play.


first dr. s, then mrs. gupta, and now señor oshaugh. i had to write a letter for him because he won teacher of the year and the admin said he should try for county teacher of the year. it wasn't as good as i wanted it to be and i started making things up at the end that sounded like they went there. (i don't mean completely fabricated, i just mean that i was tossing generic words and phrases at the screen.) but i do like a lot of it. i was horrified to find grammatical mistakes after i already handed it in. i'll just correct them and give him another copy. =)


and on friday we went to the Met! yay! that's always great. there was a Gustave Courbet exhibit and i love loved it. and of course, i found a bunch of other people i liked and discovered others. =)


i liked this week, even thursday when i had 9382749832 tests.