Planning for the future. Oh noes.

The new version with even more cuts has only 16,210 words compared to the old's 18,555.

A page with an overview of project files is here.

We started doing rehearsal schedules and I suck so Bansri helped me and now we have a calendar set up on 30boxes.com, which I love, to help us keep track. Right now it mostly has all the different conflicts we've heard about. Some of the times don't show up but if you told us what times you aren't available, it's on the website itself. I have to give access information in class, maybe. Notice there are no scheduled rehearsals yet. We're working on that.

Also, the deadline for costumes is the 18th and the props deadline will be way before that so we can start working with them. Also, we have no school on the 26th and we're going to have a full rehearsal that day.


I got critiques for my play from the Playwrights Theatre of New Jersey today! I entered the New Jersey Young Playwrights Contest again this year but I didn't win. Some of the winning plays sound really interesting and I kind of want to see them produced at the PTNJ Festival on May 20 but I don't think I'll be able to go. =O If I went, though, I would hope deep down in my heart for Paul Ries or whatever his name was. He was absolutely wonderful, as was pretty much all the actors in the festival.

For posterity I shall post what they said. After all, the only people who would get it would be people who saw Mock Trial's production of this (Murder at Vinnie's). Also, the version I submitted was modified with new additions for the time originally filled with food serving:

MURDER AT VINNIE'S

First Critique by JML

Strengths: This is cleverly put together! Writing comedy is more difficult for most playwrights than writing serious drama. You had all the main ingredients: chracters who are purposefully stereotyped, exaggerated dialogue, frivolous situation, no meaningful message. The joy is in the intricate plot that was woven together with no loose ends flapping around. Within their types, the characters a very consistent [sic]. Their needs and wants are crystal clear and those [sic] preventing them from getting what they want are most effective. The "accidental" poisoning does seem to work as a resolution.

Areas for Improvement: There are a great many characters for a short play and their relationships are more complicated than may be necessary. Perhaps the play could end with everyone looking terrified rather than the "choking and dying." This would leave your audience guessing rather than repulsed.

Other Feedback: You have a wonderful feel for comedy! This has a real "Sit-com" flow. Keep up the good writing.

Second Critique by Anonymous

The script is very funny and has a lot of character. The location and situation are very specifically drawn. The humor is both silly and smart. Your use of audience participation is quite clever. The mystery plot build [sic] well until the final surprise ending.

As you rewrite, look not just for places to add humor, but for ways to make each of the characters consistent. For example, Vinnie's speech on page 2 starts out sounding scripted--as if he rehearsed it at home for a long time. Then, suddenly, he slips up, starting to mention that the pizza parlor is also a drug-selling operation. Would he really make this kind of mistake, after putting so much effort into opening the parlor? If he is that carelss, then let his carelessness be seen throughout the play. Junior, on the other hand, is a character who is very funny because he is so consistent. His comedy comes from a dramatic situation.

A bunch of funny lines throughout. Keep up the good work!


I didn't win, but I was very pleased with the comments. I think Murder at Vinnie's is actually one of my favorite works, more as a production than as a script because it was tailor-made for the mock trial members and worked out so perfectly. I'm glad they thought it was funny without seeing people who fit the roles so perfectly act the role and read the part. I was afraid that perhaps the lines would only work as inside jokes but I guess the characters are stereotypical enough. Joy!

Reminds me. I have to post Mr. Edmonds's pictures some time. Ugh, I'm so lazy....

Also, extravaganza may not happen. =( How sad. I was starting to look forward to "What is This Feeling?" and "Quando Quando Quando?" or as I perfer to type, qqq.

And while I'm still on the waiting list for other schools, right now I'm going to attend Duke University. =D